'An insight into my life' by Charles Gunn.

By Isobel

I think I’m in love.
There, I wrote it down. It sounds even sillier on paper than it does in my head. Me, Charles Gunn, LA’s baddest getting loved-up? My old crew, who
I’ve completely drifted from, probably think I love my own ass before anyone else. A while ago they were right, I loved and trusted no one. I’ve had loss upon loss. My parents died, I lived in orphanages and through all my anger and abuse, I grew a backbone. I could handle myself. I drew together some of my mates and we made a team, the finest team in LA, or so I thought. We kicked demon ass and we were good at what we did. I was good. I was strong. I was smart. Just not smart enough. I allowed a death to happen, through fault and accident of my own. My sister’s death. Alonna. I don’t want to talk about her. It hurts, okay? Lets just say she was the only person I ever cared about, properly, and she was taken away from me. By vampires. They killed her and they punished me by siring her. Making her just as fiendish as they were. I’m a good guy, I kill the bad guys. I stake the evil. I staked her.
There, said it. I killed my sister by not protecting her enough, then I physically killed her again when her corpse was in front of me, all vamped-up, looking for a feast. She wanted to bite me. Knew I had the potential of an evil killer. Still, unlucky for her, I have too much good in me. Too much to ever be her lackey. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Charles Gunn falling in love. You’re all gagging to know who with, aren’t you? With Fred. Surname’s not important. She’s a chick, by the way, I know the name is confusing. It’s short for Winifred. I don’t swing that way! And Fred, well, she’s lovely. Really unique in her quirkiness and weirdness. She used to be a librarian until she was sucked into a hellish dimension for five years. She lost most of her humanity, huddled in a cave, scared of being found. Still, she eventually was. She was sentenced to death for stealing food (Come on, when we’re hungry, we do what we have to do. I know a thing or two about stealing!) Incidentally (Through me and my friends being transported to Fred’s hellish dimension) Angel was her executioner. He’s a colleague of mine, a ‘good’ vampire with a soul thanks to a curse. He was an evil bastard - one of the most murderous around. Now he’s reformed. Has no desire to kill or maim. Just to help the helpless and eventually be redeemed for all his evil. We work together fine but I don’t trust him. I explained it to him and he’s cool about it. One bitten, twice burned. I lost my sister because of vampires. I can never fully trust one, not even if he’s got a soul. I’ve been told it can easily be lost - all he has to do is give into passion and take the girl he loves - Buffy Summers the Vampire Slayer - to bed with him.
Anyway, Angel couldn’t chop off Fred’s head because Angel’s a good guy too. He saved her instead and brought her home to work with us. That’s when I fell for her. She became a bit more sane (She’s still a bit loony but that’s kinda why I like her) Right now, we’re friends. She doesn’t know how I feel about her. I don’t know if I can tell her. You see, one of my best friends also likes her. Wesley. Wesley. He’s a really clever guy, he fights with me and Angel too, but to tell you the truth, he’s out of our league. I like him loads but I have to be honest - he’ll get himself killed one day if he doesn’t stop playing hero. Still, he’s a valuable member of the team - I just wish he didn’t like Fred as much as I do. If it wasn’t for him, I would try and make Fred mine and give her all my love.
Who else do I have to mention? Cordy. Of course. Miss Cordelia Chase, ex-high school super-bitch and current sweetheart. She’s changed dramatically over the years - so I’m told. She was a nasty, bitchy snob but then she was ‘blessed’ with visions of events yet to come. Demonic events. Murderous events. She tells us what’s what is, and we go out and save the day. It’s not much of a life but it’s enough for me. There’s something between Angel and Cordelia. I’ve been sensing it for ages. The way they look at each other, the mutual care they have for each other, it’ll spark into love. Watch this space. He loves Buffy the Slayer and she knows that deep inside. Still, the slayer is miles away and nothing will stop Angel and Cordy becoming a couple. Not even the fact that Angel’s got a baby from another woman.
Darla’s baby. His sire - she who made him a vampire. They were lovers for one hundred and fifty years. He got cursed with his soul. She left him. They met up again decades later. She tried to kill Buffy. He staked her. An evil law firm who hate Angel brought her back from the dead. She was human and dying prematurely. He wouldn’t make her a vampire - it would cost him his soul. So the law firm that brought her back brought in another vampire - lunatic Drusilla who Angel made insane and a vampire - to do the deed. Together, Darla and Drusilla were murderous. They drove Angel crazy. He was so obsessed in killing them, he totally drifted away from us. We thought we lost him forever but after a quick shagging-session with Darla, he came back to us. Knew he had been in the wrong. Everything settled down pretty much. Until Darla turned up again, pregnant. A miracle - vampires can’t make or have children, but Angel was always a contraction. Darla staked herself so her baby could live (It’s complicated - basically one of them had to die and with a human baby in her, Darla had a moment of heroic sacrifice) Anyway, Darla died, for certain this time, and Angel took on the task of giving their baby, Connor, the best life possible. So that’s how it is. I work with Fred (She doesn’t fight - I wouldn’t let her just in case. I don’t think I could lose another person I care about) Cordy has the visions, Wesley, Angel and me fight. It’s our job - our role.
To help those who need it and do our best to improve this crappy world of ours.
I have to go now, Fred’s just come in with Cordelia. Cordy’s pretty but I don’t even notice it. Not when Fred’s about. She’s so cute - her curly
chocolate coloured hair is scraped back in a high ponytail and thin gold hoops dangle from her delicate little ears. Her eyes were hazel and gorgeous but best of all is her smile. So wide and genuine. She lights up the room. I am so happy just to be near her - I don’t need to confess my feelings but I want to. If it means I can have her as my girl and pour all my love from my heart to hers.